What Mrs Ableman said
Let me tell you about a conversation I had with my wife on the 24th of November last year.
The Prime Minister had just announced that everyone would be allowed to form a “Christmas Bubble” so they could see relatives.
In reality, of course, this didn’t happen for much of the country. But we didn’t know that when this conversation took place.
Here’s how our chat went:
ME: How crazy! The Government has spent billions running empty trains all year, and then allows everyone to travel on the only two days of the year when trains don’t run!
MRS ABLEMAN: Well, they’ll just have to run the trains those days, won’t they. After all, everyone’s going to want to see their families if they can.
ME: [Laughs at her naivity] Well that won’t happen!
MRS ABLEMAN: What on earth do you mean? Of course they’ll run the trains! Think about it - there’s only five days people can see each other, probably until next Spring. They can hardly not run the trains, can they! [Shaking her head at the very idea]
ME: I get that, but I absolutely promise you that they won’t. It’s just too late to make that kind of decision now.
MRS ABLEMAN: What are you talking about? It’s a month away!
ME: I know, but it takes much longer than that to change the timetable. Anyway, they’ll be doing engineering work.
MRS ABLEMAN: [Speaking slowly, as if talking to a toddler] Then - they’ll - have - to - move - them, - won’t - they.
ME: It’s too late for that kind of thing. The contracts will have been let. It’s all planned. They’re never going to change engineering work at a month’s notice.
MRS ABLEMAN: [Getting cross now] What the hell are you talking about? It’s “planned”?! So what? There’s a pandemic! Do you think that anyone is doing what they “planned” right now? I haven’t planned not to see my parents for 9 months! Do you think everyone in the NHS is doing what the managers “planned” for this year? Do you think they got a month to plan for the first wave?
ME: No, I get that. But the railway has a multi-year programme planned. If they don’t do the work this year, it will set back the benefits for the future.
MRS ABLEMAN [Now speaking slowly and calmly, rather like a police negotiator dealing with a madman]. OK, tell you what. Most workers are working from home, right? And no-one’s travelling for business, right? So weekday travel is incredibly quiet, right?
ME: Right
MRS ABLEMAN: So they can do this work on any weekday they choose between now and April. They just have to change their plans from the two days they’d planned and they’ve got the choice of 80 alternatives they can have! Sorted?
ME: I’m just saying that won’t happen.
A few weeks later, I got a phone call from DfT asking if my coach travel startup Snap would provide coaches as the Government was planning on spending £3 million on extra coaches over Christmas, as the bubbles were happening but the trains wouldn’t be running.
(Given I’m sometimes critical of DfT on this blog, I should say that everyone I dealt with during the next three chaotic weeks - when DfT attempted to set up a shadow national coach network to enable as many people as possible to travel while, simultaneously, another branch of Government was discovering a dangerously virulent new strain of Covid and preparing to lock down the whole South-East - was helpful, courteous and clearly doing their best to make the best of a difficult situation).
But I’m sure my wife wasn’t the only person who thought that, maybe, the railway could just have run the trains.
Do you Tweet? Here’s one ready-made
